The cries of these cats are utterly terrifying. Sometimes they sound like the wailing of a baby being scolded by its parents, and other times like the hysterical cries of a schoolchild who has committed some grave mistake. Hearing these sounds alone at night is quite horrifying, not to mention how they disturb one’s peaceful sleep. It always makes me pause and try to discern whether it’s really a cat or a person making those noises.

Several times, I’ve been tempted to rush downstairs and storm into the neighboring building to give those cats a piece of my mind. But then I hold back when I hear someone from next door already starting to curse at them loudly.

I never had strong feelings about cats before. I only knew that they tend to defecate and hide it everywhere. I used to think this was their way of being clean. That was until I realized they would defecate and urinate in anything resembling sand or dirt, then use their hind legs to cover it up with nearby material. So, finding their feces in sand, cement, or even rice and flour is not unusual.

Another thing is that cats always give off a vibe of being overly suspicious, which makes interacting with them somewhat uncomfortable—perhaps in contrast to dogs.

In any case, after these past few nights, I’ve grown to dislike cats more and more.

There are many people in this world who possess extraordinary talents, minds, and inspirations. They often create works that strike a chord with people’s hearts. They can shape the world through their creations, or at the very least, earn a living by exchanging their works for sustenance.

A minute ago, I was also pondering what meaningful things I could do that would also keep me from starving. Based on my own growth experiences and areas of expertise, I came up with two plausible answers. One is developing software, and the other is writing. Unfortunately, neither of these has brought me any profit so far, mainly because I haven’t produced or created anything worth paying for. I haven’t soothed people’s weary bodies nor touched their souls, which is the root cause of my failure.

It’s not that I want to do these two things for money; fundamentally, I love these activities, though the extent of my passion might make you question it. This leads to comparisons. The gap between me and other successful developers lies in the fact that I haven’t invested enough time in this field. If I had been admitted to the information security major, things might have been very different. Many things I’m interested in have been abandoned due to my laziness, procrastination, and other commitments.

Comparing myself to literary giants naturally leads to a clear conclusion. I also haven’t invested enough time in this endeavor. Additionally, I’m not particularly skilled at writing, which was evident from the very beginning of my learning process. I lack the necessary sense of rendering,铺垫, and修辞 that writing requires. I write merely to express the restless thoughts in my mind, which command my mediocre body, and I have no choice but to obey her orders, thus conveying her commands through my fingertips.

I believe my mind is the same as those of literary giants; they have the same bizarre, beautiful, absurd, tragic, and ugly thoughts. But my mediocre body hasn’t been honed through socialization and technical training, which makes me compare and feel envious. I also want to become a literary giant, to captivate, shock, and touch souls with just the clatter of my fingertips.

Perhaps it’s the desperation that breeds change. My brain only gives me commands to execute, never offering any reward. The current dire situation forces me to think about how to quietly engage in a side hustle while carrying out these orders. I think, perhaps with my peculiar and whimsical ideas, I could become a comforter of souls, offering services to souls in exchange for their rewards.