I woke up early in the morning, took a shower, put on my suit and dress shoes, and went downstairs with Huanhuan to have breakfast before heading to the exam site. I had thought wearing a suit might make me stand out, but when I arrived, I noticed everyone else was also dressed formally, which put me at ease. I also ran into many younger classmates, who clearly had a fresh, student-like vibe. One junior was struggling to button the top button of his shirt—it was obviously too tight. I reassured him, “It’s fine, you don’t have to button it. It might affect your performance, and the examiners won’t mind. You’ll feel better if you’re more comfortable.”

A-Lin was there too. He had kindly picked up my exam admission ticket for me, and I was very grateful. After performing well in the last interview, I’ve grown increasingly confident. This time, my interview went smoothly—at least I didn’t stutter excessively or feel overly nervous—and I scored 82.33. Initially, I thought it was an average score, but after chatting with others afterward, I realized it was actually quite good.

After the interview, A-Lin and I went to a busy area nearby to grab a bite and relax. There weren’t many options, so we settled for a beef and bean hotpot. Gui’an is truly remote—there wasn’t even a Mixue Ice Cream & Tea shop, which was a bit disappointing.

At noon, Xiaomeiling brought Huanhuan back, and we sat together briefly before accompanying her to have a bowl of noodles. After resting for a bit, we prepared to return to Panzhou.

By the time we reached Panzhou, it was pouring rain. We both got completely drenched—the small umbrella we had was useless against the downpour. Once we got back to our place, we ordered some takeout on our phones. I overestimated my appetite and ordered way too much. Watching those mukbang videos where people eat enormous amounts made me think I could handle more, but in reality, eating just a little extra left me feeling uncomfortable. After eating, I played some video games but was so exhausted that I dozed off without realizing it.

Strictly speaking, this was my second structured interview. The first one was when I took the civil service selection exam in Anshun before graduating. Back then, I didn’t prepare seriously—I just watched a few videos to get familiar with the interview process. Naturally, the lack of preparation led to failure, though I was surprised to have made it to the interview stage with a completely unprepared written test.

This time, I thought I should put in some effort. If I wasn’t going to prepare properly, I might as well not go at all. So, I asked Huanhuan to help me practice for two evenings, and I also did some brief solo practice. Niwa was incredibly patient and thoughtful, explaining all sorts of interview details and precautions to me—so much so that I got a bit annoyed, haha. But deep down, I was really grateful to her.

Today, I left the house in a rush and ended up forgetting my ID card. However, the staff were very meticulous and checked my identity information through 12306 and Alipay, allowing me to proceed without having to go back for my ID or being denied entry.

After the check, I sat down in the waiting room, and the instinctive nervousness of an interview kicked in. I chatted briefly with the staff there, which helped me relax a little.

When it was time to draw lots for the interview order, I was the last to pick—there wasn’t much choice left. I ended up with number 3. Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of videos on Bilibili from interview training accounts that mock nervous candidates in funny skits. They always use “Candidate 3” as an example, so when I drew this number, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Then came the interview. Compared to my first time, I was much more relaxed, and everything felt natural. There were still many examiners—a small room packed with over ten people under bright lights.

There were three questions, with 15 minutes in total:

1. A quote from Xi Jinping;
2. Emergency response to natural disasters;
3. A junior staff member unwilling to fulfill emergency duty obligations.

I hadn’t seriously practiced the first type of question, so I just said whatever came to mind—things like life values and patriotism. The second question was similar to what Huanhuan and I had practiced, so I was more familiar with it. For the third, I approached it with a people-oriented mindset, emphasizing understanding and leading by example in persuasion.

After the interview, I waited in the scoring room for what felt like forever. Time dragged on because we weren’t allowed to do anything—no talking, no reading, no phones. I don’t know how long I waited, but it seemed like they were discussing the scoring criteria for quite some time.

Finally, they called us over to hear our scores, and soon it was my turn. My final score: 85.8. I was quite satisfied with this result—barring any surprises, it should be the highest.

Recently, I’ve started leaning toward hoping that the CSC (China Scholarship Council) will reject my funding application. There are two main reasons for this: First, I can already foresee that the next few years abroad would likely be quite painful, and because of this, the prolonged lack of a stable job has been weighing on me for a long time. Second, I’ve begun to fear the prospect of long-term separation from my loved ones, family, and friends.

If the funding application is unsuccessful, I can accept it with peace of mind and focus on preparing for a normal life like most people—having a modest job that barely makes ends meet, a family of my own, and a comfortable routine.

On the other hand, if the CSC approves the funding, two factors would still leave me feeling drained and apprehensive. First, uncertainties around passport and visa issues remain, and I’d inevitably have to navigate bureaucratic hurdles—something I dread. Second, I’d once again face a prolonged period without income, continuing to feel emotionally exhausted, searching for a new foothold, while also worrying about the impending long-term separation.

Looking back now, the decision I made earlier doesn’t seem as wise as I once thought. However, one thing is certain: the unemployment we fear isn’t as terrifying as it seems. It’s okay to be without a job for a week, a month, or even a year.

Of course, the fact that I haven’t struggled as much this year is largely thanks to the support of my family and Huanhuan. It’s in times like these that I truly feel their warmth.

After finishing the review around noon, I took her to try some xiaoguojuan (a local rolled snack) and Yuan Kun’s mutton rice noodles. After that, she returned to Guiyang. On my way home, I bought some waxberries and, upon seeing a vendor selling bamboo shoots, picked up two as well.

For dinner, I tried making bamboo shoot rice—it was incredibly fragrant!

In the afternoon, I finally finished reviewing the second round of Teacher Zhengdao’s material analysis. Since I have an interview coming up in a few days, I asked Huanhuan to play the role of the interviewer to help me practice. This exercise revealed many issues: my speech was not smooth due to nervousness, and the nervousness stemmed from a lack of confidence in my own logical thinking. I could come up with ideas, but I wasn’t entirely sure about them, leading to hesitant descriptions, physical tension, and verbal stumbling.

I need to build more confidence—first, I must believe that what I say is correct. Only then can I convince others. Additionally, this practice highlighted many detailed problems, mainly in the following areas:

1. Speak clearly: Believe in yourself first, so others can believe in you. It’s helpful to provide appropriate examples.
2. Be people-oriented: This is the core and foundation of the entire process. Always remember where your authority and livelihood come from.
3. Stay grounded in reality: People want to feel understood and seen.
4. Accumulate professional terminology: This will help when dealing with more abstract questions.
5. When describing events, you can apply the STAR principle (Situation, Task, Action, Result).

From morning until noon, I had an online interview with the Energy Bureau. I had prepared my self-introduction for a long time, but as soon as it started, they went straight to asking me questions, which caught me off guard. It took me a full minute to regain my composure.

I feel like interviews require practice to handle various situations calmly. Still, it was a good experience for me because it highlighted areas where I need improvement.

After the interview, I wanted to lie in bed and rest for a while. Earlier, my dad had asked me to buy a phone for my mom. The delivery driver called around 2 p.m., and since it was a government-subsidized order, I had to go to the Finance Bureau to sign for it in person.

The Redmi Turbo 4 Pro actually feels more premium than my Xiaomi 15, and I ended up playing with it for way too long. I really shouldn’t have…

The carp I bought yesterday turned out terribly cooked, and I felt a bit guilty about it—I had specifically picked the liveliest fish at the store. The tofu from the supermarket was also awful, completely ruining my dish. I ended up separating them, barely managing to finish the fish, and then re-frying the tofu in oil to make it somewhat edible.

After dinner, I took the phone to my mom and spent about an hour setting it up for her before heading back.

It’s already 9:45 p.m. I watched a video by Bi Dao today, which talked about how our lives follow a logarithmic scale. The further we go, the faster time seems to pass. According to the calculations, by the time we’re 18, we’ve already lived half of our perceived lifetime.

Suddenly, I felt a bit panicked—life is already slipping away. How to truly experience and hold onto time might be a topic worth exploring.